Episode 2 • Coming Home
In this episode, Amanda shares what it means to do inner voice work on a practical day-to-day level. With 3 simple tips, she explains why we need to let go of perfectionism and just do the work (with no apologies! Elbows out!). Then she shares the gift of doing the work - you’ll need to listen to find out!
*Episode includes swearing.
TIME: 22:38
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Hello! Welcome back to you won't get these minutes back. But like, I kind of hoped to change your life not gonna lie, because then I would be amazing. That would really help my external validation. So if they could change your life can you let me know in a nicely typed up email that I can put as a testimonial? Just kidding. Like there's a part of me that's not kidding, but the majority was like, I don't whatever, I don't really care. I do care. God damn it, okay. As I drink my coffee. So basically every time I drink my coffee, I say I'm going to drink my coffee. Going forward, I'm just going to drink my coffee. And if there's a pause, cool, you drink your coffee, too.
Anyway, thank you so much for being here, the podcast where me, your host, Amanda, talks all about voice, inner voice and outer expression. The magic that happens when those two meet, you know, turning your shit into gold. This is led through Alcheme, my company, Alcheme which is all about transformation and vocal empowerment. So thank you so much for being here. I feel like I just like, it was like my manager was behind my back being like, gotta plug. You gotta plug Alcheme, right. I really don't have a manager. I'm the CEO, so I can do whatever the fuck I want. But anyway, oh, I've had too much coffee.
So thank you for being here. This episode is all about inner voice. inner voice. What the fuck do I mean by inner voice? Also, I swear a lot, if you haven't noticed on this podcast, so I hope you're cool with that. And if you're not, Hey, I am not everybody's cup of coffee. So that is cool. Your inner voice.
So what is that inner voice? So inner voices can be a lot of things. It really truly can be. Inner voice can be the voices in your head that you hear that, like all the time, all day, every day, sometimes when you're sleeping, you know, the voices that say don't do that, that's gonna cause so and so to be upset. Oh, yeah, we've got this, and then you fucking crash and burn. And then you beat yourself up for it. And then you say I should have known better. And then you're like, we're gonna hide for a little while. And then you're like, Fuck, I'm bored, I'm gonna do some more shit. That's just my personal experience, probably not.
Our internal voices are the parts of us that that want to be seen and heard. The voices that we hear when we're in any given given situation, to activate those parts of us from long, long ago, when we were young parts of us that learned how to be and how not to be. So I'm actually gonna do a full other episode on parts on parts work. This is not that episode. What I want to talk about here is how to access your inner voice, how to inner voices, but how to kind of get really clear on basically given your inner voice a space, giving your inner voices a space to be. So there's two parts. The first like one part is acknowledging like what are the parts of us. The other part is giving these parts of space to be. I don't even know if that makes sense. But let me dive into it. Oh, I'm recovering from a cold. So hopefully, my voice is very sexy. Also, I think it's too deep but that was from like episode one. So fuck it, whatever. Inner voice I view it as coming home to you coming home to you.
There are so many external factors that pull us in so many directions. You know this. I don't have to tell you that. We wake up to our alarm. Holy shit. There's a kid in your bed. When another kid’s screaming your husband's frantically trying to get the dog out for a walk. You're like Ah, here we go again. And it just continues as the day goes on. It is pure and utter chaos. Pure and utter chaos. To get home and have to make supper because your husband who you love, but also hate, didn't make supper when you had assumed by staying at work a bit later that he would have taken care of it but nope. Nope, he didn’t. You finally fall into bed at the end of the night, and you're like, Okay, well, you know, I checked 3.4 things off my list of 341. And I guess that's, that's this Monday, and you fall asleep, and you wake up the next morning and you do it all over again.
There really is no time for you, for you to like, access your inner voice to come home to you, as an individual, not as a mom, not as an employee or an entrepreneur or business owner, not as a daughter. Not as like hockey mom, not as you know, all these fucking roles that we do that we love and that we hate. You know, there's no space for you to come home to you. I know from experience when I come home to me, and it's like the coziest was reassuring place. And what I mean by coming home to me is when I just take the time for me to sit and journal and just write. Writing is my medium. So if you're listening to this, and you're like, Yeah, bitch must be nice to have a medium or likes enough. Fuck, not even have a medium just have some time for you. Yeah, no. I know, right? You're in it. And that's okay. If there is part of you that is curious about coming home to you about experiencing that coziness, and that like, I've got this, then, please listen, please listen on. If you're like, No, I don't got time for that shit. And honestly, I won't have time for that shit for the next like 13 years, then that's okay, too. That's okay.
So I wrote a book back in 2018/2019 called 47 Days: A Journey Back Home. It talks about a road trip I took around this province and hosted 15 different events for women, speaking events to promote women to show up and share and be and it was an amazing experience. I wrote about it through the lens of healing from my divorce. In that book, well, the title is 47 Days: A Journey Back Home. Spoiler alert, the journey back home was not to any geographic place. The journey back home was to me to my self. But it took me 47 days on exhausting, crazy ass. Oh, like, wow, when I just like tune in, like tune into that energy. I'm like, wow, I forgot I forgot about that. I think I kind of blocked it. It was totally 47 days of running from myself to fucking crash and burn back to myself. And so my hope is that you don't have to crash and burn to come back to yourself that you don't have to burn out to come back to yourself that you don't have to get sick to come back to yourself. Now, fuck. I did that in 2018 I do it on like, not the daily on the yearly. I burn out or have I don't burn out fully. But pretty fucking close.
Spring of 2022 this year was a special kind of hell. But I It forced me to come back to myself to really set boundaries about coming back to myself. And so I actually my partner and I took a few months break, I had to step away from that relationship. So I could come back to myself and my hope is that you don't have to step away from your relationship to come back to yourself. If you're like me, you're very much kind of like all or nothing. So if you do have to step away from your relationship to come back to yourself, that's also okay, there's no right or wrong way of doing it. Now, what does that actually look like? On a daily practical, logistical, logical level? What does it mean to come back to yourself? For me, it means taking five or 10 minutes to write to journal to get the shit that's like floating around my head out onto paper and I'm not talking about my to do list sometimes my to do list is really takes fucking priority and it won't disappear until I write it down. So sometimes I do that first. And then I sit and I write.
So I have three tips for you. And that's the first tip. First question, what is your medium? What is the medium in which you can connect with yourself? So if it's writing and that's great. If it's not, that's great. But what is it? Where do you feel most like you? Where do you feel like you have space? To connect with yourself? Is that walking? It's like going for a jog. Is it working out in the morning? Is it at night? Or never? If you're like me - Just kidding. On like health forums and stuff, I put that I exercise two to three times weekly. I would never lie about that. Oh, what is it? What is your medium? Where do you feel? Like vibrant and vibrantly? If you're like, I don't fucking feel like that, then okay. There is space for you - I know there is - you wouldn't be listening to this. Don't push me bitch.
What is that space? Is it something creative? Is it like painting or drawing? Or sitting with like, your cup of coffee in the morning in a chair? Is it having a beer at the end of the day? Is it talking with your mom or your sister on the phone? What is that space for you? Like where you actually just feel like you and you're not putting on the hat? So the roles of anything else in your life? What is the medium? What is your medium?
That's my first question. There's no right or wrong answer. You know, the first thing that comes to your mind, that's it, trust that trust your knowing. My second question is fucking elbows out. No, so that this isn't a question, this is a statement. This is like permission, fuckin elbows out, to take the space for you to do that for you.
So once you've identified what that is, what your medium is, to come back to you to come home to you. Second point, fuckin’ elbows out, elbows out. And what I mean by that is boundaries. Honey, you are taking the kids for 13 minutes, I don't give a shit. I, I don’t want to lock myself in the bathroom. But I will. Or you know, I'm gonna go to the bedroom. If somebody if somebody crosses that bedroom door line, there's going to be hell to pay and you don't want to say mama pissed, you know this. That's what I mean when I say elbows out and doesn't have to be physical. That's not what I'm saying at all. But just like the metaphorical and energetic boundary of I am taking time. We are all healthier if I take this time, so I am taking this time. Now this is assuming that you have a support system in which you can do this. And if you can’t, I'm sorry. If you can't - cut this podcast off, if you're on the bus right now, just fucking cut this podcast off. Take two minutes right now. For you to just sit and be if you don't, if you can't close your eyes, if you don't feel safe to close your eyes. Then just be, just stare, just be… What do you know about you? What do you know about you?
So yeah, my second point is elbows out, boundaries, to take that time for you. And I know that it takes courage if you've never taken that time for you. It takes courage to say, “this is what I need.” It takes courage to identify that that's what you need. But I promise you that if you can elbows out. You are better off, everyone around you is better off. And it doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be perfect. If you're like me, and you're like okay, this and this needs to be in place before I can do this. You know, I need to I need to do what looks like in in the magazines and in movies of like self care where you know it needs to be two hours a day. Sunrise, you know, after my morning yoga, you know, my cat or dog rubbing against my legs just so cozy, steam coming up from my locally handmade pottery that has like a perfect blend of coffee and fuck that shit. I mean, if that's your life, then shit I am jealous. Part of me is jealous. One day, I hope to be there. No, no, that seems boring. So no wonder man, but if that is your day, cool, I'm actually super pumped for you. I'm also super pumped for you. But that's the thing. If you're like me, it's like, okay, this needs to be in place before I can do this. It doesn't, it truly doesn’t.
You are such a wise powerful person. And that's such a deep inner knowing. If you were, you wouldn't be listening to this. If that wasn't true. It doesn't take perfection to come home, it doesn't take perfection to come home to yourself. Okay, so fucking elbows out for those scraps of time that you need. And my third and final tip is, be aware. Be aware, be aware of the avoidance. So if you know what your medium is, you have your elbows out. But you're still not doing it. You're still not taking the time for you to come home to yourself, to get to know yourself, then, what is that? Why are you avoiding it? If you're like me, you have good intentions. And you're like, Yeah, I'm gonna exercise three days a week, cool. I'm gonna journal every day. And if you're like me, you're like, that doesn't actually happen. Sometimes the action is doesn't follow the intention. And that's okay.
My question is, why are you avoiding it? Why? There's no right or wrong answer. This is not to shame you at all, this is about to start getting curious or getting curious. And I know this from experience, and I'm still practicing it, I avoid the shit out of my inner voice work. I know that if I'm avoiding it, there's something incredibly deeply powerful that I'm about to uncover, if I just take the time and do it. And I am not scared of any potential pain that I might uncover. I am scared of the knowing of the power of me, that I might unearth. And that is way more terrifying. So instead, I choose to avoid writing. And instead watch like shit tons of Netflix or Paramount, or Crave, or Apple TV, or Prime or all the other ones. I watched those instead of doing the work. There comes a time though, when the avoidance only lasts so long. And it’s, like, okay.
And so if you have the courage, and it's not even about courage, because it's also about being gentle with yourself. And if you watch all the platforms, that's also okay. It's also okay, I'm not telling you this stuff to guilt you. Fuck no. We have enough guilt. There's so much guilt we have enough guilt. That's not it.
I'm asking you these questions. I'm giving you this tip because I know that what's inside you, what's deep inside you? Which sounds so dirty!? That's not what I mean. Oh, God, why does my brain so often go dirty? It's like, the 16 year old self mind just like pops up at the most, like, awkward. It's so annoying. But I also love the 16 year old part of me because they're hilarious. So, what's what's deep inside you? Like on a soul level on a being level? That is what our world needs. This is what we need. You have skills and gifts that nobody else has. And I sound very like Marie Forleo, for I sound very much like her right now, because that's one of her taglines, but what can you uncover about yourself? That will cause a sense of awareness, a sense of, oh, acknowledgement and neutrality and like, Here I am, this is me. This is what I am capable of. You know, that's what we avoid. We avoid the we avoid the uncovering of our strength and of our power. If we take the time to do it, and it's like all within them will then a shit and then I got to do something with that. The thing is, you don't you don't have to do anything with it. Whatever you uncover is for you. And you get to choose, you get to decide. So as much as I'm like, oh well you need You, that's a little bit of guilt, and I apologize for that. But you get to decide what you do with your inner knowing. And that is beautiful and powerful, and will give you a sense of confidence. More than any external like number of likes on social media.
So that's what I mean by coming home to you coming home to you to your awareness to your knowledge to your skills and talents. What is that for you? I don't know. But you know, and I'm gonna end it there with my three, three tips. You know, the question of like, what is your medium? What is that for you? Is it writing? Is it sitting is it meditating, like, what the fuck is it, it doesn't have to look a certain way.
The second point is, do it - but let go of perfectionism. Do it, but let go of perfectionism. Fucking elbows out, elbows out, take the time that you need, whatever small scraps of time you can get.
And three is be aware. Be aware of the avoidance when you avoid it. There's a fucking magical gift waiting for you, about you. So, thank you for listening. That's, that's one of the biggest things that I mean by inner voice, taking the time to connect with our inner voice. I hope that's helped. I hope this reassured you that you were fucking magical. However you're doing it. And if you have any questions once again, email us at hello@alchemelife.com. I wonder if there will ever come a point where I'm like, Oh, God, I shouldn't tell people to email us like, and I can actually reply. So if I don't reply right away. Know that I love you. And I'm doing my best. I'm gonna leave you with a question.
The question is, what is your medium? What is it that allows you to come home to yourself that allows you to access your inner voice. The conversations that you have with yourself? What is that medium? I'm super curious. Send us an email. hello@alchemelife.com.
Thank you so much for listening. I'm so fucking grateful that you are here. Signing off, Amanda.
