Episode 1 • It’s Short and Sweet!
In this honest and self-reflective solo episode, Amanda looks at the history of her love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with her voice and why she uses it anyway. Think: stuttering when she hit puberty and fake singing in high school choir class. Then she asks: what is YOUR relationship with your voice?
TIME: 17:49
Any questions or comments? Email hello@alchemelife.com. We’ll get back to you ASAP.
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Hey guys, how's it going? Well, I'm just starting off this podcast, basically how I roll through life. Just kind of awkward, um, but excited, so, I'm super pumped to be here. This podcast is kind of like a cool trial. I'm just gonna give it a shot, basically cause my business coach told me to, but also because I have realized that I like sharing knowledge that I have gained over the years and the hopes that it might help you or it might give you, a, cool insight into your life or make you start to question things. Um, I don't know, for the better or like, see? Awkward, but, you know, I guess I, I've had a company since 2015. It used to be called Grounded Goodness. Now it's called Alcheme. The tagline of Alcheme is “Transformation starts with you.”
And the purpose of Alcheme is to create safe spaces for people primarily women. That's who I mostly work with at this point. But to create safe spaces for women to show up and use their voice, to learn how to use their voice more effectively to really create. Lives that they love and also for organizations to advocate for their people to help their emerging leaders.
Yeah, and see that's, that's a hilarious thing. I've take, I've taken Toastmasters before, and Toastmasters, you get shocked if you say the words. I’m just kidding. You don't get shocked. But you have to like, pay like 25 cents for every “um” that you say. It's, it's like this training to make you stop using filler words.
I took Toastmasters for years, and the fact is I still use filler words. I use, I use them all the time. Filler words are, are used. We use filler words when we want. We don't want there to be a space, a blank space. We don't want there to be a bank, a blank space in what we're saying because if there's a blank space in what we're saying, then.
The person that we're talking to might jump in when we're still trying to get out what we wanna say. That's one of the big reasons. Another big reason is that we get nervous or we have anxiety around speaking, around sharing our thoughts and. To, to pause and take a moment to gather our thoughts is uncomfortable.
It's uncomfortable as fuck. So anyway, a little side note there. “So” is also a filler word, but you know what? This, this is not this episode. Let me like just step back. This episode is not for you to start policing your filler words because screw it. We use filler words. That's okay. Using filler words does not diminish who we are.
As, as human beings. So if you're like me, so if you're like me, you're, you show up exactly as you are. If you're like me, you're kind of awkward, you're goofy. You like to hang out with other, with people. Sometimes you hate hanging out with people. You know, but filler words really are small minute detail in the grand scheme of our lives.
So this, that's not what this is about. That's just more for information purposes. The point of this episode is to kind of introduce Alcheme as the next evolution of grounded goodness, and to share what it's about. So it's, it's about transformation. It's about taking the shit in your life and turning it into gold.
So looking at your past experience, experiences, the tough times that you've been through, and really digging deep on those, trying to mine the gold in those, and then transforming that into. Teachings for other people if you so choose. Now, a lot of people go through stuff and, you know, dig deep on in finding the gold, but they just, they choose not to share those lessons or those teachings, and that is a hundred percent okay.
I'm not saying that everybody has to share what they've learned through their lives. That's not it at all. Alcheme is for people who do want to use the experiences in their lives to to share with other people. Now one of the main ways that I, that Alcheme operates is through workshops and trainings and group coaching and speaking.
So I'm a public speaker, even though I say “um” an a lot and I'm awkward as hell. I, I love and hate public speaking. So anyway, that's, that's what Alcheme is. And one of the way, the main ways that Alcheme does its work is through the use of voice. It's a vocal empowerment platform. It encourages and teaches people to use their voice, their voices, as I mentioned now, this first episode.
So that's a lot of background. This first episode, I just want to simply acknowledge your voice. Your voice, like your physical. Audible auditory voice. I'm curious, do you judge your voice? Do you love your voice? Maybe you are an amazing, maybe you are an amazing singer, and you're like, mm, honey, I love this voice.
I was blessed with this amazing voice. And if that's the case, then. I was gonna say, fuck you, but that's just rude. So that's not what I meant. Well, like maybe deep down a little bit, but that's mostly from jealousy. That's jealousy on my behalf, so I'm happy for you. And also I'm sad for me, but I don't have an amazing singing voice.
I, the only time I ever sing is when I'm alone in my car and I'm sure that nobody can hear me. Once I was at work at my other company, 1st Choice Graphics, and I was singing alone in the back production area cause I was working, it was after hours and I think my mom as my mom or my dad came in. And I didn't realize, and it was mortifying.
So if you're, if you have an amazing singing voice, I'm pumped for you and yeah. So, but yeah, I'm talking about voice, right? Do you judge your voice? So a little bit. I judge the, the shit outta my voice, and I just wanted to acknowledge this because, because Alcheme is a vocal empowerment company, a transformational company.
I wanna start with the basics and just kind of acknowledge like the basics of voice and not like it has to be like this big, like let's go into the researchable voice or any of that. I haven't even done that shit. Like I have this company, but I haven't researched voice or any of that. So if you have done that and you wanna share info with me, that's amazing too.
Mostly what I teach is, oh my God, I have a cat hair. In my eye, not like in my eye, but stuck between my eyelid and my contact lens. Do you know how much that hurts? Holy fuck. Oh my God. Okay. Shit, it's still there. I took my contact out, but it's still there. Oh, Lucy, the cat. Ugh. Okay. That's random. So we're talking about voice, but I can't see where it, shit.
That's okay. I need to see to talk about voice. I'm just gonna toss that contact lens now. I'm super blind, but anyway, that's, so yeah, I just wanna talk about the basics of voice and just get like, and get curious and get you started to like, be curious about your voice. So, yeah. Do you judge your voice?
Like I said, I judge my voice pretty good, pretty well, pretty badly. I judge it. So little background on me. I, I am almost five 11, like I'm very tall for a lady. I, my name is Amanda when I was younger. All the kids, you know, used to say, duh. Like that was the thing, which was like nineties. And I remember when I was growing up, like I was like elementary or I don't know when it was.
People would like, kids in my class would always say like a man, duh. And it was always like this, like connotation of like me being masculine. You know, that's probably not what it was at all, but that's definitely how I took it. Cause I had no boobs. I was very tall and awkward and gangly and I didn't wanna be that way.
I wanted to be feminine and soft and have like big boobs in grade six like the other girls did. But really I didn't really get boobs until like I graduated high school. I was definitely a late bloomer. But anyway, so anything that made me feel more masculine, I hated it. I fucking hated it. And so my voice, I remember in choir class, I think it was at grade seven, I don't even know the choir teacher brought each of us, like took each of us, all the students, to try to figure out where our vocal ranges were so that she would know where to put us in the choir section.
So I think for women it’s alto and soprano and you know, considering it like I'm supposed to be an expert on, sorry, (coughing.) I'm supposed to be an expert on vocal empowerment. I really don't know a lot of things about it, but that's also okay cause I'm here showing up and I hope that you continue to show up in the way that you want to and need to.
So random side note. But yeah, I went for my little tryout to figure out where I, my range was, and I didn't want to sing because I was like, I don't wanna be in the opera section, I wanna be in the soprano section. I wanna be in the soprano section. So then I actually kind of like altered my voice. I, I remember the choir teacher just kind of looking at me like, oh honey, like that is, your voice is special.
So, But it's high. So let's put you in the back where we can't hear you in the soprano section. And I was just pumped. Cause I was like, okay, cool. The vi, the visibility is that my voice is higher so that I'm not masculine. Like this is the kind of shit that stressed me out when I was like a preteen and a teenager.
And so I always judge my voice as being too low. And now you're probably like, and I'm also kind of making it higher right now, so you don't judge my voices too low. And honestly, I don't know if my voice is low or not. I have no fucking clue, but I haven't judged it as low and masculine and that's not what I wanna be.
So yeah, so that's a lot of my anxiety around my voice and actually just speaking up and, and you know, talking in groups or teaching or whatever that happens to be. I also had a stutter when I was about 12 years old. No, maybe a bit somewhere around there. I had a stutter and I don't know why I did it at that point in my life, but I did and it was, it was embarrassing and not for everything, but every once in a while it would come out and my sisters would make so much fun of me and I know that they love me. And they might listen to this and be like, oh my God, don't tell this story cuz it makes us sound like assholes and they're not assholes at all. I would've done the same, I would've harassed the shit outta them if it was reversed, but they, they bugged me cuz I would stutter and it made me quiet down.
I didn't want to be harassed or teased for stuttering. Now my mom. Told me lately that she thought that the reason that I stuttered back then was because I would get so excited about whatever I was talking about, that my brain would move faster than my mouth and I couldn't, it would trip, trip up my mouth and I couldn't get it out, and so I would just stutter and me looking back at my 12 year old self.
Can look at that with some compassion and empathy and realize that that's probably true. I was probably super, super excited about something. Maybe it was like, I don't know, joining the volleyball team or like my dog, Casey, being silly or like Lucky the cat because I love animals or like whatever it was, right.
But I just couldn't or, fuck. Probably playing the flute man. I played the flute and I fucking rocked it back then, you know? So whatever it was I was super excited about, but then I stopped speaking because of the stutter. And it's not that I stopped speaking, that's not it. But I did become more and more quiet and I was already quiet at that point.
So yeah, those are a couple of my beliefs and perspective perceptions about my voice. Now I'm not gonna get into like, how I overcame that, or what I did, cause clearly I'm here speaking to you as you listen to this. So thank you for that. My 12 year old self, 12 year old self is very grateful for that. But there's just, you know, this couple examples about how I judge my voice and, and ways that pop up in my mind so that I kind of stop myself.
Yeah. Oh, there's so many other ways like that. I judge my judge myself. I'm judging my voice. I'm like, oh, I mumble and people can’t understand me. And all these things. Like this is just like, it's crazy the shit that when you start looking at it, that you judge yourself for in terms of your voice. So I'm curious, what do you, how do you judge your voice?
And if you don't, that's amazing. Like, I'm like legit, super pump for you if you do. I'm curious. What, what is it for you? Like what are some of those stories? And if you want to send me an email, I don't fucking know what the email address is yet cuz the branding is so new, but like find, find us on Instagram.
We are at Alcheme Life cause Alcheme was already taken. So it's Alcheme Life. And I'm sure I have like, shit tons of posts in there at some point when you listen to this, but like, leave a comment. Yeah, I'm super curious how you judge your voice.
I'm sure that the stories are incredible and sad and heartbreaking. I'm inspiring, so I would be pumped if you shared with me. Oh yeah, that's the email address. Hello@alchemelife.com. So H-E-L-L-o. Isn't it funny? H-E-L-L-O. I was gonna say like h-e-double hockey sticks. Oh my God. Now apparently I'm in like 12 year old brain, but hello@alchemelife.com.
Send your stories about your judging your voice. I'm super curious and it's like, if it's like super painful and you're like, fuck no, that's totally cool, don't send it. That's okay. But I just wanna ask the questions just to get curious and maybe help you get curious about your voice.
Now, this is just the beginning. There's gonna be so, so many more episodes about your voice. It means to use your voice. Why you want to speak up more? What are you passionate about? How can I help you do that? How can I help you serve the world? Because that's a big, big part of the mission of Alcheme is, is serving so and not like in a religious way.
That's not at all. I'm not religious. If you are religious, that is very cool. And I am pumped for you. I guess I always associate serving with like, like the alter servers. In church. Anyway, I'm gonna go now. I thank you so much for listening. I'm very, very grateful that you're taking the time outta your day to do this, or maybe not outta your day, but like if you're traveling to work or like taking a bath, oh, no, I just got a visual of you in a bathtub. (laughs)
No, wait. I didn't mean to laugh. That's not what it is. Okay. Bye. Thanks for listening!
